Words that caught us: G-F-T-I is for Gratitude FOR/TO/IN

 

I thought I understood the word GRATUDE,

But, clearly, I didn’t.

Thanks to this season and the internet,

For helping me understand this word, better.

 

I’ve learnt that there are 3 key practices

That arise from the word GRATITUDE.

 

The first form of gratitude practice is

Gratitude FOR something positive that’s happened in our lives.

This is the commonest, simplest and easiest gratitude practice.

As young children, we are always told to say thank you

For everything done to us. It’s drilled in us constantly.

So we say ‘thank you’ when someone sets food on the table.

And we say ‘thank you’ when someone opens the door for us.

It’s the easiest form of gratitude practice because

It’s pretty easy to recognize the good things in our lives.

Good health. A stable family. A roof over our heads.

This doesn’t require much effort other than self-awareness.

And it can be done in private, and even in silence.

 

The second form of gratitude practice is

Gratitude TO someone for doing something for us.

This gratitude practice is directed to someone specific,

For doing something specific.

For example,

‘Thank you Anna for remembering today’s appointment with John.

It had completely escaped my mind.’

Or, ‘Thank you Christine for that very insightful presentation.

It opened my eyes to issues I was completely blind to.’

Gratitude TO is harder to do because it requires

Focus, intention and action.

You have to notice that someone has done something good to you.

Then you have to make a conscious decision

To commend or appreciate them for it.

And, finally, you have to actually tell them so.

This is one gratitude practice we are all guilty of neglecting. A lot!

Think of all the people who have contributed to your life –

Parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, teachers, friends, strangers –

How many of these have we said ‘thank you’ to?

No. Not that passing, perfunctory word,

That we tell the cashier at the supermarket

As we pick up our shopping.

I mean a deliberate ‘thank you’,

Where you pull someone aside, or sit down for coffee,

Look them in the eye,

And pour out your heart – letting them know they are valued,

And making them feel the emotion and intention behind your words.

How many times have you done that this year?

Remember, “In ordinary life, we hardly realize

That we receive a great deal more than we give…’

And we make this worse

If we don’t take time to practice gratitude TO.

This is perhaps the reason why our world is filled with takers –

People who take more and more, with no end –

Resulting in disconnection, selfishness and narcissism.

That’s why gratitude TO 

Is also said to be an important leadership skill –

Because it drives connection and builds influence.

If you want to see or feel the power of gratitude TO,

Try this.

 

The third form of gratitude practice is

Gratitude IN a bad situation or circumstance,

Such as the pandemic we are in right now.

Gratitude IN involves looking beyond the inconvenience

You may be experiencing now and seeing the ‘Big Picture’.

Gratitude IN helps us shift our focus from asking ‘why me’,

To asking ‘what does this require of me?’

It enables us to see opportunities in a ‘bad’ situation.

It enables us to see that the ‘bad’ things

That have happened in our lives, actually have meaning,

And have, in large measure, influenced what we have become.

This is perhaps the most difficult form of gratitude to practice.

How to see and feel gratitude in sickness, in death, in losing a job,

In a failed marriage, in a delinquent teen, in a failed business…

Can be very tough.

But doing so makes the difference between staying down,

And rising up,

Between being depressed, and being enthusiastic,

Between reacting with anger, and responding with joy,

Between giving up, and looking up.

 

We need all the three forms of gratitude's in our lives.

If we can identify one thing each day,

That we are grateful FOR/TO/IN in our lives,

We are sure,

That this will completely shift our perspective of life,

And the way we experience it.

 

Try it!

What are you grateful FOR/TO/IN today?

 

*Today’s reflection has been inspired by Dan Rockwell and, in particular, these articles: the easiest way to shift trajectory today, five freedoms of gratitude, the simple shift that supercharges the power of gratitude, the third step on everyone's gratitude journey where many stumble.

** The quote in paragraph four is by Dietrich Bonhoeffer: “In ordinary life, we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.”