IF PRESIDENT OBAMA CAN GET HOME FOR DINNER, WHY CAN’T YOU? – Part 1: Lessons for us mortals
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| The Obama's watching the Women's World Cup in the White House |
Being a good spouse to your mate, a great parent to your
children, a high-achieving manager at work, a dependable person to your friends,
and a respected community leader are daunting tasks for all of us.
The performance of most of us in these areas is, at most, only average.
But
this is obviously dwarfed by the pressures of the U.S. Presidency.
No
matter how many vacations they take or how much they exercise, Presidents seem
to visibly age faster than other people.
In
her book “The Obamas,” Jodi Kantor offers an unusually detailed account of how
the Obamas have tried to maintain a sense of balance when they moved to
Washington.
The
following are some ideas from the book that you can practice to get a sense of balance in your
own life:
- Know what is important to you and guard it zealously: The Obama’s have maintained the same loyal network of friends, stuck to disciplined diet and exercise regimens, avoided the Washington social scene so as to spend more time with their children, and kept a keen eye on the excesses of pomp and privilege associated with the presidency.What do you hold dear to your life and how do you guard it from slipping away?
- Set some boundaries: President Obama has a strict time for dinner with his family, and it’s pretty much inviolate. He is willing to miss dinner twice a week, but that’s it. This limits his fundraising trips to the West Coast of America and also limits his outreach to Congress. But he is willing to do it. How far are you willing to go in setting boundaries to keep a good life balance?
- Be the right spouse to your partner: Being the right spouse to your partner is the single most important decision you can make in life. This is not a man or woman issue. Its important to both spouses. The more you try to be a good partner to your spouse, the more that spouse becomes a good partner to you, and the more your successes as a family multiply. You need to know when to support and console, and when to give honest feedback without putting your spouse down. Spouses have enormous powers of influence over their partners and the way they make decisions. Michelle has always had a very elevated sense of who her husband was. She talks variously about how Obama is not like other politicians, and this has undoubtedly influenced Obama's own self-image. Are you working hard to be a supportive partner to your spouse?
- It is not about the workload but how you deal with pressure: Many of us worry about gossip, money, job security, child discipline etc. Think about the monumental decisions a president has to make, particularly during times of war and economic struggle. Think about how many sleepless nights this takes. But these guys seem to get the job done and at the same time maintain a sense of balance and perspective. They are not perfect, of course, but the lesson here is that it isn’t the workload but rather how they deal with the psychological pressures of this job that helps them maintain some balance.What habits and behaviours are you developing to deal with the inevitable pressures of life?
Adopted
from Dan McGinn interview with Jodi Kantor
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