ALL WE HAVE IS THE POWER TO CHOOSE.
Most of us work very hard. I mean real
HARD!
And there is plenty of advice out there
for work-life balance. I mean A LOT!
Such us, make time for non-work
activities, exercise to reduce stress, learn to say “no,” manage your time more
efficiently etc.
All these are excellent ideas. But the
truth is, there’s no magic formula.
What then can we do?
It will help a little if you can bear
the following in mind as your guiding principles.
1. Be realistic about work.
People
make it to the top by working extraordinarily hard. And once they get there,
they find that there is no letup.
Technological
convergence has erased the dichotomy between work and home and made jobs even
more demanding. Burnouts among employees are rising rapidly.
The important
principle here is to be realistic that you cannot do everything. If you do, the
results are likely to be destructive to you personally, and ultimately, bad for
the business you work for.
Learn to let go.
Learn to delegate.
Learn that work is
not an end in itself. It is just one aspect of things that are important.
Learn not to neglect
those other important things in life.
2. Don’t expect perfection in life.
Most of us strive for perfection. Unfortunately, life
doesn’t work that way.
Expect to fall short some of the time. Then try to do better. Again and again.
It helps if you have
loved ones who understand and who do not hold you to impossible standards, nor
let you entirely off the hook.
Think of life as
continuous improvement program.
Learn new things. Once in a while learn
a new skill or hobby.
Find and befriend interesting
people.
Go for an adventure.
See
life as interesting by seeking out interesting experiences.
3. Change the metaphor.
For decades, the
paradigm has been that of creating a ‘balance’ between work and personal life.
This thinking sees the two as separate. But are they?
For most of us, work and life are inextricably intertwined.
Work supports
our loved ones; it constitutes a big part of our identities, and it often
shapes our social lives.
The smartphones and
other devices that bind us tightly to work also keep us in close touch with our
non-work-lives.
The solution therefore
is to integrate work and personal life effectively, rather than trying
to achieve a separation - that is less and less becoming attainable than ever.
Don’t view work as
bad. It is part of life. Learn to integrate it.
Don’t view life as
excluding work. Work is a subset of life…a small subset.
Don’t let work
describe who you are. Look work the way you see school or football or dancing.
They are all part of you, but none describes fully who you are.
4. Be present.
When you are with your
family or friends be fully there — in spirit as well as in body. I mean
being REALLY THERE!
We can’t make prescriptions for you. You must find ways in which you can become really present and attentive to your loved ones during those brief moments that you are with them.
And something
else…please don’t treat these personal encounters like a meeting at work where
you check in with each of your loved ones as you do with your executive team!
5. Don’t forget yourself.
What
always seems to get lost in the push and pull between work and personal
relationships is your own well-being — body and soul.
You skip your workout, delay your annual physical check-up, rarely take up a book that’s not work related, and make no time for self-reflection.
A healthy mind in a
healthy body — this remains an advice that is both timeless and easy to
ignore.
Perfection in life or work is
unattainable. All we have is the power to choose.
In any given moment, you can decide
what you are going to do — whether you are going to give work its due or
be fully present for your loved ones.
Instead of feeling as if this choice is
a burden or, worse, not a choice at all, let us learn to celebrate it.
Adopted
from an article by Kenneth W. Freeman in the HBR Blog Network
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