The 3 Things I Know To Be True
The 3 Things I Know To Be True*
“Successful
is not synonymous with dollar signs and status.…I’ve
figured out they’re just an illusion.
…I
don’t want my life to be measured by dollars and cents. No, I want to live out
a different version of success, a more meaningful one, one where I consistently
improve myself and always positively influence other people.
I want to live a life that counts.
I want to live a life that counts.
And with each day that passes, I feel more and more urgency
to make sure my time and energy are invested in doing just that.
But
what is a life that counts? And how do you live it?
In
my experience, I believe a life that counts is determined by three things:
1. The Relationships You Form
Relationships
help us define who we are and what we can become. I consider relationships to
be my greatest treasures in life and an immense source of joy.
Most
people can trace their failures or successes to pivotal relationships. That’s
because all relationships involve transference.
When we interact with other people,
we exchange energy, emotions, ideas and values. Some relationships reinforce
our values and uplift us, while others undercut our convictions and drain us.
We can’t choose every association in our lives, but we can choose who’s closest
to us.
Make
sure you know these relationship rules:
•
Get along with yourself: The one relationship you will have until you die is
yourself.
•
Value people: You cannot make another person feel important if you secretly
feel that they are a nobody.
•
Make an effort to form relationships: The result of a person who has never
served others? Loneliness.
•
Understand the reciprocity rule: Over time people come to share mutual
attitudes toward each other.
•
Follow the Golden Rule: It’s a timeless principle. Treat others the way you
want to be treated.
2. The Decisions You Make
Good
decisions sometimes reap benefits years into the future, while bad decisions
have a way of haunting us.
Legendary
basketball coach John Wooden encourages us to “make every day a masterpiece.”
Two ingredients are necessary to do this: decisions and discipline. I like to
think of decisions as goal-setting and discipline as goal-getting.
The
two cannot be separated because one is worthless without the other:
Good
decisions - daily discipline = a plan without payoff
Daily
discipline - good decisions = regimentation without reward
Good
decisions + daily discipline = a masterpiece of success
3. The Experiences You Encounter
Our
lives are also shaped by pivotal experiences—whether they’re triumphs or
tragedies. Maybe we receive a long-awaited promotion, or we’re suddenly let go
from a job. Perhaps a loved one passes away, or a newborn baby enters our
lives.
These experiences immerse us in emotions and challenge our convictions.
They might even reveal our purpose in life.
Oftentimes
we’re defined not so much in the moment of experience itself as in our response
to it.
Do we quit or rebound?
Do we harbor bitterness or choose to forgive?
Do
we blame or improve?
Whatever the case, the experiences in our lives profoundly
touch us.
What
we encounter can be broad and varied, but here are a few brief pointers on
gaining the most from each experience:
•
Evaluate it: Experience isn’t the best teacher—evaluated experience is. Learn
from mistakes and victories alike. Draw upon experiences to grow and gain
wisdom.
•
Manage the emotional aspects of experience: Pivotal moments come with a flood
of emotions—at times positive and other times negative. Teach yourself to
counteract negative feelings and learn to harness the momentum of positive
emotions.
•
Share them through storytelling: Make a habit of sharing the lessons learned
from the experiences that have shaped your life and your leadership.”
*By John
C. Maxwell
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