Words that caught me: L-O-G-F is for 'Let Others Go First'

 

I was reminded of this quote

On reading this post by Dan Rockwell.

Both Anne and Dan talk about a common problem -

People who cut lines, either in a queue or in traffic,

And how that gets us all worked up.

 

There are at least four things we can learn from this.

 

First, as Dan rightly points out,

We often let small things,

Take up so much space, in our minds.

We all struggle with petty upsets.

‘He didn't even say goodbye. What a jerk!’

‘She didn't return my call. Such a b*tch!’

Of course, with time,

We come to see these little storms

For what they really are - petty,

And not worth our mulling over.

 

Second, is the story we tell ourselves.

It turns out that if you assume positive intent in a person,

E.g. that they are rushing someone to hospital,

All judgment going inside us evaporates immediately.

Meaning, the upset and stress that courses through us,

When someone cuts the line,

Is more about us, than them.

 

Third, the moment we judge

And place a label on someone,

Like 'he is a jerk',

That label becomes our justification for our next action -

Which is to be less kind and disrespectful of the other person.

The converse is also true.

When we separate the person from the behavior,

Like when we let them in the queue, with a smile.

Something magical always happens.

Either, they act sheepish with guilt, 

(meaning the message has hit home);

Or they acknowledge the gesture with a friendly wave,

(meaning they perhaps are well-meaning folks caught up in an unusual rush).

Sometimes we even end up making a good acquaintance!

 

And finally, and perhaps the biggest take in all this,

Is, and we bet you may have noticed this as well,

That when someone stands to give a seat to an elderly person,

Or when someone politely requests to cut a queue,

We are often flooded with feelings of grace and humanness,

And, more often than not, we respond with kindness,

And let them in.

What's going on here?

According to Dan, there is come research showing that

We become more kind to each other,

When we observe someone helping someone else.

 

That's why this is so important.

If you can work are letting go the small,

And petty upsets;

If you can force yourself to assume positive intent,

And to tell yourself a different story;

If you can manage to hold your judgment,

And avoid the negative labeling;

If you can manage to avoid feeling so entitled,

And let someone else go first;

Then you are beginning an important chain...

A chain of kindness and grace.

 

So do it today, let someone go first!

 

*We apologize for posting this week’s reflection later than usual.

**This post has been inspired by the above article by Dan Rockwell, and this episode by SimonSinek on the sinister power of labeling.